What’s the future of 3D? Not much.

Many people suggest that the 3D revolution didn’t start until Avatar came along.  Though the concept had been executed as far back as the early 20’s, never had the experience been so seamless and engaging as it was in Avatar. However, with the recent announcements of 3D movies, I’m beginning to think that Avatar may be the peak, and that it’s all downhill from here.

During the commercials of Avatar, audiences were treated/tortured with a commercial for Piranha 3D. The plot outline on the IMDB page reads as follows:

A tremor under the surface of Lake Victoria unleashes scores of prehistoric piranhas, an event which rallies the local sheriff who will risk everything to save her townsfolk.

It was then, seeing that this new technology would return to its roots: the endless concept films with ‘3D’ tacked onto the end of the titles or the latest Dreamworks release put into 3D just to jack up the ticket price.

Needless to say, I was disheartened by this prospect even before Avatar began in the theater, but looking at the slew of upcoming garbage (How To Train Your Dragon 3D), how could I be anything else?

What initially brought the idea of 3D scams back into my head was a viewing of The Big Lebowski last night.  The character Jackie Treehorn, an adult film tycoon, mentions that VHS had ruined his erotic films, but that porn had to stay on the cutting edge.  It was then that I began to piece the puzzle together.

The porn industry isn’t much different than the big Hollywood studios.  They want to find a way to get you out there to purchase and view their product in any way possible.  Both industries have trouble keeping business up when people can go online and get it for free.  While online memberships or instant downloads help, the businesses are still hurting.

Avatar was a way for the film industry to get people off of the internet and into the movie theater.  It promoted an experience that could not be attained anywhere but the multiplex, and as box office numbers have shown, succeeded admirably.  The logical conclusion to this, then, is that the adult film industry is not far behind.

The emergence of Girls Gone Wild  3D is not that ridiculous of an expectation to predict.  Though theaters showing porn are all but extinct, the evolution of the Blu-Ray player with 3D capability will bring a whole slew of new marketing gimmicks.  What’s a better selling point to today’s adult film enthusiast than allowing them the same total immersion they experienced watching the blue people fight bad guys?

This would be a fine way to market something, if it were going to work.  It won’t.  As demonstrated by James Cameron’s titanic success with Avatar, you need to do more than convert the already existing product into 3D.  You need to film it from the start with 3D in mind.

Since many adult films are made on the cheap, I’m quite sure they won’t be investing in Cameron’s 12 million dollar special camera.  They’ll do the same stupid thing that Hollywood usually does: make it in 2D and then add another dimension in post-production.

So as Avatar‘s reign on the 3D market dwindles with the approach of Alice in Wonderland (most likely the last good 3D movie for awhile), think about your place in the third dimension of entertainment.  Do you want Hollywood to jerk you off with Piranha 3D, or would you rather wait for the home player so you can do it yourself?

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